Now I look more at the blogs I wrote for you, and I realize that was the situation.... I cared a lot about you, and at the same time, you also cared a lot about yourself, wow.

Haha. It is silly, the only reason I write this blog is so you can read it.... Now I am writing it tonight, after I have wondered so much if you can even make me happy. I think I am to the point where I just want to quit, forever.

I spent so much time wondering how I can make everyone around me happy, but I wonder why no one does the same to me. You don’t find a way to make me happy, you simply try to find a way to preserve your own happiness, I don’t think such a selfish attitude is one that I want to follow...

I should realize it when you seem to be content that we can not see each other for 3 weeks or longer. That is ridiculous to me... No matter how happy you make me, I will never go for weeks without seeing my girlfriend again, unless it is completely unavoidable, and that is not the situation here.

Now I am so unhappy tonight... Why don’t you chat with me again when you care more about me, instead of only caring about yourself... That is how I felt about you.

Haha, I was soooo tired earlier, so I fell asleep, but now I am awake grrrrr.... I saw that you wrote a blog, but it is in Chinese hahahaha, so I decided to write one in English so you can read it :D

I always have a good time when I spend the weekend with you, and this time it was no different :) I know maybe it seemed boring at Starbucks because I wanted to read a book, but you know what? I have had no time to do nothing haha, I have always been going somewhere and doing something every day of the week :| I visit you in Tainan, or visit Taipei with Kay, so it felt good to relax and read at Starbucks, while sitting next to you :)

Also, I found something out this weekend :O It is much harder to say goodbye when I am not riding the train :( Even after you went through the gate, I had trouble walking away, I felt so sad :( When I ride the train, I don’t think about leaving for another 3 hours, because I am busy riding the train haha... By the time I get home from Tainan, it hurts less, but when I said bye to you at the train station, I was only a few minutes from home, so it hurt much more than I expected :S Does it make sense? Haha...

Oh, they gave me a new class to teach Wednesday, I think I mentioned it to you. Today, I learned what type of class it will be, and it is one of the more difficult classes to teach haha. It is the class with the students that are in junior high school. Their English is decent, so they are smarter than the other students we teach. The problem is, they usually aren’t as interested in learning English, so they speak Chinese more, and they pay attention less.... Which makes it harder to teach haha. Oh well, I should be excited for a challenge, instead of worrying about it :)

Wow, now I realize that I am writing less and less on the blog for you to read, so I should write something every day, right?

By the way, I really hope I can buy a scooter this weekend :O It is possible that we might not meet this weekend, unless you want to come here and try to find a scooter with me :S I am not asking you to do that though, I know you didn’t like it here so much haha. No matter what, I will be thinking about you this weekend :D And if I buy a scooter, it will be great for the next time you decide to come here, because we can ride the scooter somewhere :)

Finally home >_< What a great weekend it was though. But, I want to apologize for my bad mood on Friday night and Saturday afternoon... I tried to explain it to you this weekend, but even I hardly understand the reasons :(

Really though, you make me happy throughout everything :) I really don’t want to make you sad :( You should just realize that I am a silly boy who likes a cute girl haha

Aww, I need to go to sleep now, I am looking forward to talking with you!! Have a good day!

Haha, now it is my turn to write a blog for you :)
I am not writing because you wrote for me though.
Instead, I am writing because I know you will read it, and I like to write something you will read :)

This weekend was great, just like you mentioned.
Anywhere we went, I was happy because I was with you.
You could show me nice places, and we could eat delicious food!
I liked the time we spent in the park, walking together, and then sitting by the statue when it was getting dark.
You are silly and I can laugh the whole time I am with you :D You always ask me why I laugh haha.

I thought the guy at the hotel was funny, I liked him :P I also thought it was funny and cute when you hid from your mom’s friend hahaha.

Haha, it is hard for me to write more because I am busy talking with you on MSN :P

I look forward to any weekend we share together, and all the kisses you will give me :D Even if we just sit somewhere and talk, and drink coffee, it will be great for me :) I can learn more about you, and also learn more chinese from you, even if i suck :D

I look forward to seeing you again, and kissing you ;)

I am looking forward to the weekend :)
I think anything we do this weekend will be special, and I am looking forward to it
I know you are worried about your exams, but you shouldn’t :D You are a smart girl, you will be ok :)

Good luck on your exams, I am looking forward to seeing you!!

Not good.

Not good :(

I fell asleep for a few hours, and now I am awake and it seems like I can’t sleep again :( I really hate that I have a sleeping problem... When I get insurance, I want to go ask a doctor for help, or at least for some medicine. I know it is not a good solution, but I am drinking a can of beer because I am hoping it will help me fall asleep.... even if it is not a good sleep, I need it :(

Ehh, I probably shouldn’t share this because I know you will worry about it, so please don’t worry about it, ok?

I started reading a new book, about running. It made me miss running every day so much :( I just don’t know where I can go close to my home and jog every day... I think once I get a scooter, I can do it more easily :) You still want me to wear my really cool shoes, right? I can wear them this weekend if you want me to :D:D

By the way, I like how your blog makes it seem like you are ok with having a relationship now, though you still worry about a few problems... A week ago you seemed scared to think about it, and 2 weeks ago, you seemed to think it would be impossible haha... Soon, we will be better at talking on the phone, don’t worry about it ;)

Ahh, I just heard some of the songs from Utada’s newest CD, I don’t think they are as good :( This One (Crying Like A Child) is pretty good though, I think I can enjoy it :D

Ok ok, I will try to sleep again, I hope I can >_< I have to wake up around 10 haha, especially if I want to eat something before work :| But in fact, I need to take a shower also hahaha...

Haha, you seemed like you really wanted to read a new blog :P Ok, I will type some for you :D

My class tonight was not bad, I have a few students who seem interested in learning more English, so they are fun. Overall, my class tonight likes to act silly, so it makes the class more fun also :) I was nervous when the lady from the main office came to observe my class though :| Of course, she told me what I already seemed to know haha, I need more fun activities for my students :P

Tomorrow, I hope it is ok because I will spend all day at the school, only for 2 classes.... I think it is sooo long haha. I will use that free time to think about you instead hahaha, think about our plans for the weekend :)

Haha, we do think so much alike, I like it!
I liked kissing you and holding you.
Sleeping next to you, walking next to you, eating... I liked everything about the time we spent together, so I look forward to this weekend more and more. I am also wondering where you want to go eat, you said it will taste special :P

Haha, I know it is late and I said I would sleep, but I wanted to write a note for you in case you decided to check :) After this, I am going to sleep for sure.

Good night!

Every once and a while, there is a book that makes me stay awake far longer than I should, to read the next part, or maybe even finish the book.

This was a story of love and despair, time apart and time together, of distance. Ultimately, a story of love and it’s ability to survive in great distances and time apart. Like any good book, I am sad to see it end, but happy to finish it.

Now, I must sleep so that I can finish recovering and not be sick any longer :)

Good luck on your midterm! Friday will be ok :)

Soooo late/early

Now I am eating, trying to relax, but there are so many thoughts on my mind... I am afraid that I am bothering you with my crazy mind. In fact, my mind is bothering me too. I know what the thought is that is causing me trouble, at least one of them. I just don’t know how to stop it haha. It is not even serious :|

I just need to relax, you are a good person :) I am happy to have met you, and I hope things go well for us :D I am sorry about this weekend, it was entirely my fault :( I can’t apologize enough for it, and I want to make it up to you, maybe it will be something romantic, like we talked about :P I just hope I can think of something hahaha.

Thank you, you are such a good person, I just hope you can remain with me while I fix my mind >_<

From April 9th, 2009

As I sit here on the bus, I can only think of you, and of my job... I have a million thoughts on my mind but I don’t know what to say, or how to say it haha. You ask yourself if this is too good to be true, and I think the same thing myself. Moving to Taiwan has been a very good experience for me; I have been very happy here.

When I first met you, I learned two things. First, you make me more happy than I was before and second, I am scared to have that much happiness again.

You keep asking yourself if I am a good person, and your friends ask you if you learned nothing from the last foreign boyfriend that you had. I think about this and wonder if it is fair for me to be judged like that, only because I am a foreigner, and of course it is not fair.. However, even before I moved to Taiwan, I realized people would dislike me because I am a foreigner. Of course, that is not the reason for me to write anything at all. As it is right now, my thought is this; should I date you, or should I give up?